Just read Rains latest post.....it felt familiar....I too am getting back on some kind of meds...I have doc appointment on the 9th....I also just haven't been feeling physically good...very tired all the time...taking naps and going back to sleep a few hours after I get up from the nap....sleeping later and going to bed earlier....its horrible...I feel like all I do is sleep anymore....
I think my blood sugar is outta wack...I am dizzy a lot...having to pee alot...and I just feel weird....I know my blood sugar is messed up...my last doc put me on meds but she was WACKO...diagnosing me with stuff without any tests, so I dropped her....had to find a new one and it was HARD. No one was accepting new patients.....
I have been craving warm, sunny weather so much I dream about it....I dream of standing my back yard in shorts and a tank top with Molly playing...Its about 75 degrees, nice warm breeze, sun shining on me...I could almost smell the warmth. I don't think I have ever craved spring/summer so much before. Maybe its cos of all the bullshit going on in my life right now...so much stress, drama, money worries, job worries....health worries...maybe the craving for spring is just a craving for CHANGE of any kind. Sometimes I just want to lay down and go to sleep and not wake up until something GOOD has happened. Sometimes I just want to give up completely.
I am so FUCKING LONELY sometimes it's not funny. I have my roommate, who is great, and I have my mom and other family but they don't fill the void Joe left. Sometimes I feel so empty....so empty and lonely. I crave physical contact...not sex (though I do miss that) but holding hands, and hugging and cuddling....and kisses...I miss kisses...even the little pecks on the cheek...I miss em so much. I don't miss Joe exactly....just miss the good moments I had with him....I wish I could find someone else to share my love with....someone sweet, and goofy...someone not afraid to be themselves...someone that doesnt use drugs and drink a lot...someone not afraid to be affectionate...who is trustworthy and reliable...just someone....
Last Saturday marked 7 FUCKING YEARS since my grandma passed away....I miss her....
Now that I am done depressing everyone..I'm going to bed....
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My Rants and My Rambles. Read at your own risk, because I can get quite bitchy at times!!!
5 comments:
Sorry you are feeling bad. I went to the doctor for meds and now I feel better. I sounds light you might also benefit from light therapy during the winter. They sell full spectrum light bulbs at places like Lowe's. You can put them in your lamps during the winter. We just got more snow dumped on us here!
Have you thought about joining a dating site? I have no experience with this, so it's just an idea. Wish you all the best sweetie. Hugs.
I couldn't make it through the day without my meds. They help me cope with everyday crap.
I hope you find another doctor and soon.
Warm weather would be nice, I don't know about you, but winter depresses me!
I'm sorry you are having a hard time. =(
*hugs*
I feel exactly the same! It would be nice to be touched. I went to see Lori last weekend and she rubbed my back and shoulders. It was the first time I had been touched in months with the exception of hugs. It made me cry. I'm pathetic! Thank God for my meds. I would be absolutely insane.
Hugs to you and a mamma touch to brush your hair back from your temples.
Sweet girl! I hope you're feeling better, soon if not right now!
*BIG HUGS*
Love you xoxo
Sorry I didn't comment at the time I read this, and I hope things have improved since then. We all have good days, bad days, good weeks and weeks we never wish had seen the light of day. It drives me crazy how life is so up and down. Steady steady would be nice!
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