Saturday, December 27, 2008

Christmas wasn't too bad. It was a little skimpy this year, but I was happy with what I got. The important thing was everyone was healthy and happy. My mom got me a gift card and a new bed in a bag set. Its gorgeous and comfy and Joe never slept on it, lol...My grandma knitted me a very pretty, soft afghan that oddly enough matches my bed in a bad. Don't know if that was intentional or not! My brother got me Tales of Beedle the Bard from the Harry Potter series. Any of you who know me enough know I'm obsessed with Harry Potter, lol! My best friend/roomie got me Lady GaGa's CD, the Fame. I love her, her songs have a good beat and she sings the craziest things!

One thing that did happend that upset me was "Bio Dad" called. He called before I got to my grandmas house and I wouldn't call back, so he called me back. I didn't want to talk to him, but my grandma made me. This year talking to him made me cry. Don't know why. Some years I'm okay with, some years I get mad, and sometimes I cry. I hate crying over that pathetic excuse of a father/human being but sometimes I do. I told my mom I just wished he wouldn't call at all. He doesn't acknowledge us at all the rest of the year, so why bother just because it's christmas. Does it make him feel more like a father to call or something?? To me, all it does is show how pathetic he is. Lets ignore my childrend 364 days a year and only call them on christmas....I'm such a wonderful father!!! What pisses me off more is he is raising his Step grandchildren from his troll of a wife. How can he raise someone elses children and ignore the three he left behind here?? It baffles me, hurts me and makes me sooo angry!!! I've asked him why and of course he had no answer...

So, I gave him five minutes of my time on Christmas to cry and then I went back inside and had a good time with my family. He doesn't know what he's missing.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas!!

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and Happy, safe New Years!!!!

Friday, November 21, 2008

I had a pretty eventful week this week. Well, actually just the last two days were eventful I guess! I could tell something was happening, as my boss's office is right next to mine, and he talks VERY LOUDLY even when its a normal conversation, and my desk is up against the wall we share. He had the Human Resources lady in there, and kept calling people in. Some came out crying, or VERY angry. Then I find out that they were moving people to different departments. Ok. Fine. I didn't think they were gonna move me cos I have tried to move and tried to move to no avail. I was resigned to being stuck in my little corner doing data entry for the rest of my life. Well, at the end of the day I was putting invoices together and the boss pulls one of the ladies from customer service into his office. I ended with her being walked out with all her personal belongings, and of course a lot of crying. I was ready to leave a few minutes later so I grab my purse and coat only to find the boss and the HR lady waiting for me at the time clock. He says "clock out and meet me in the office." My stomach dropped to my feet! Then I look at my boss and see he's SMILING!

"So, since your smiling, I am going to assume your NOT firing me??" My exact words, I promise.

The HR lady bursts out laughing and we go to her office where they tell me that I am being moved to customer service starting December 1st!

Now, I am all sorts of excited until they tell me my hours. I will be working 830-7 monday thru thursday. I am used to working 10 hours a day, thats not a problem. But working till 7 at night during the winter?? It will be pitch black and snowy! But, I will get a raise after I am trained. They want to base it on my performance so I need to bust my ass! One other downside is that at 4 oclock I have to leave customer service and go back to my old job and finish it up cos the guy they are putting in there leaves at 4 for school. Now, I don't mind doing different things and helping out, but that just sucks donkey balls. What if he gets way behind and I am stuck there till all hours of the night?? Oh well, at least I didn't get fired, and I will be getting a raise in about a month or so, so thats good!

How was everyone elses week???

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Its been over a month since Joe and I split up. I think I am doing ok. I had my moments, and still do sometimes. Sometimes I get so flipping lonely that I want to tear my hair out and scream. I am assuming that is pretty normal post break up behavior. I have been spending more time with my mom and brother lately. I went to my moms for dinner after work yesterday and had a really good time. I miss that.

I realized the other day that I had withdrawn from a lot of things BEFORE Joe and I split....I wondered why and did some self reflection and realized that I did it because I wanted to avoid fighting with Joe after he got drunk. You see, Joe in an alcoholic. I knew that a long time ago. He knew it too and told me once that he was worried that he would turn into his father. I tried to support him, tried to get him into AA or something similar. He wouldn't do it. I had no idea what to do in a situation like that except try and avoid situations where there might be alcohol present. Which was hard as all our friends and family drink socially.

I completely lost my taste for alcohol during all of this. I would avoid going to see my fave local band, Forever Gypsy, avoided going to parties and events with my friends, just so we wouldn't fight. He never knew when to stop drinking and when I was ready to go, or told him he had enough, he would get mad and act like a fricking child and it was soooo embarassing and frustrating and scary. I never knew what to do, I couldn't calm him down for anything and in the end he usually got his way, or we had a screaming match and we would drive away squealing the tires on our blazer and stay away for an hour or to make a long story short (too late, lol) I had withdrawn a lot. Its hard to get back in the swing of things. Saturday I went to a bar to see the band play and I was tense for a lot of it until I realized what I was doing. I was waiting for a fight that wasn't going to come. So I relaxed and started dancing a bit with my bar friends. It was nice and I'm glad that I was able to loosen up a bit.

I still miss Joe and probably always will a little bit as he was my first serious relationship and my first love, but I think I will miss the IDEA of what I thought he was, not who he really was deep down. Its going to take me awhile, but I am healing and feeling a bit better every day.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Lady GaGa

Ok, I am OBSESSED with this chick! I love her music and weird videos! Check out this one, if you havent seen it already!

ok, try this one instead...for some reason it was showing puppies, but that was cute so i left it up, lol! thanks lavinia for pointing it out

Thursday, October 9, 2008

spent the night in the ER last night....was there for HOURS!!! and the docs still dont know whats wrong with me...i went in cos i had horrible pain across my abdomen, my back hurt, i was running a very high fever and had the chills and was shaking...having to pee ever twenty minutes...thought it was a kidney infection or something, but i have no infection, my blood work came back fine...had a cat scan, it came back abdomen still hurts, but the fever is gone and i dont have to pee as preggers either, THANK GOD!

they released me, told me to take the day off and get some rest, so thats what im doing....doc said sometimes we get sick and our body resolves it for us and we never know what happened...i think he was blowing smoke cos i was there for hours and they dont know whats wrong with me...oh well...i think im getting better without them....they did dope me up on some serious pain killers by iv and i slept for almost 12 hours...


joe and i have barely talked since we split...he came over for some of his stuff i got outta storage...i can only get so much at a time as i have to get rides to go there...i got him all of his winter clothing for now...everyone says i should just give it away or sell all his stuff but im just not like that...i feel i would be putting my self on his level and i cant be like that....i did confront him on the skankyhoe bag he's seeing...whom WORKS WITH US! he denies it but hes a cheating lier so i was expecting that...what ever..shes skanky as hell...everyone at work calls her a horseface cos shes ugly and has a really long face...makes me feel good that no one can stand her and they are disgusted with joe....

my mom is taking the blazer back beginning of november...said she thinks giving him a month to get another vehicle is more than fair after the way he treated getting my permit saturday and gonna start driving it....i know i know..i shoulda had my license years ago but i hate driving....but i need to be more self sufficent blah blah blah....

bye for now

oh, and yes jess, me u and sassy definetly need to get together and party!!!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Yes, it's Over

Yes everyone, Joe and I are no longer engaged, living together, speaking, anything with each other. I really had trouble making this post, mostly because there are some people that read it that I don't trust or like, an I hate when they know my PERSONAL business. But I love you guys and this has been so hard for me, so I had to make a post.

Joe was cheating on me, or leading up to the cheating....he was texting secretively, going places with out me, then when I tried to call him, his phone would be off but of course, "I was out of range" or "my battery died" That one is lame as we have car chargers in the truck!

Well, I looked online to see what number he was texting, and called it from a friends phone....a number he doesn't have....naturally another woman picked up....I hung up and texted her, saying sorry, this number was on my phone...she got rude and texted back and her text was signed baby girl....well, immedietly they knew it was me and Joe flew off the handle and left me.....he is still denying he was cheating, and now, since we work together, things keep tricking back to me....he might also be having a thing with one of my co workers...dont know if its true...really dont care either....its over, he treated me like shit anyways and even though finacially it will be hard, I am better off....

And, anyone reading my blog that shouldn't be (you know who you are) can kiss my ass if you think its funny or whatever....karma will catch up to you soon....

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Pink-So What

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na Na Na

I guess i just lost my husband
I don't know where he went
So i'm gonna drink my money
I'm not gonna pay his rent (Nope)
I got a brand new attitude
And i'm gonna wear it tonight
I wanna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
I wanna start a fight
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
I wanna start a fight

So so what?
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't need you
And guess what
I'm having more fun
And now that we're done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine
And you're a tool
So so what?
I am a rockstar
I got my rock moves
And i don't want you tonight

Uh, check my flow, uh

The waiter just took my table
And gave to Jessica Simp- Shit!
I guess i'll go sit with drum boy
At least he'll know how to hit
What if this song's on the radio
Then somebody's gonna die
I'm gonna get in trouble
My ex will start a fight

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
He's gonna start a fight
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
We're all gonna get in a fight!

So so what?
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't need you
And guess what
I'm having more fun
And now that we're done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine
And you're a tool
So so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't want you tonight

You weren't there
You never were
You weren't all
But thats not fair
I gave you life
I gave my all
You weren't there
You let me fall

So so what?
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't need you
And guess what
I'm having more fun
And now that we're done (we're done)
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright(I'm alright),I'm just fine (I'm just fine)
And you're a tool
So so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't want you tonight

No No, No No
I Don't want you tonight
You weren't there
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine
And you're a tool
So so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't want you tonight

Ba da da da da da

Friday, September 19, 2008

Had the house to myself for the first time tonight....and I had aaaaaaaaaaaa



Sorry, it was just so darn that I am all relaxed and fed, I'm kinda bored.....go figures huh?? LOL!!!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Lavinia posted this on her blog...hope she doesn't mind that I stole it for was too darn funny!!!!

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
2:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
4:00 pm - Licked a person's face! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Until tomorrow...

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I
decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had
hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the n oises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.

This morning I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must
try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced
that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so
he is safe.

For now...

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Molly Moo Moo!!!!!

Here's my Molly Moo Moo as promised!!! Isn't she cute???


Friday, August 29, 2008


Thats right, I am moving AGAIN!!! This time its to my permanent digs. Right now I am staying with my most awesome sis in law and her equally awesome fiance Dave. They let us stay at their house for the last month until I could find my own house....moving into another apartment at Castle Point fell through and I didn't want to get stuck into another year long lease, so we moved in with Brandi an Dave until we could find a house. And we did!! Its a nice house, a bit small but its in the county and it has a good sized yard, fence and it comes with all the appliances including the washer and dryer. I am moving in this week.

I am TERRIFIED that this is gonna fall through AGAIN!!!! Every time something happens. EVERY TIME!!!! I am getting so sick of being screwed around by people and being left in the dust. If it wasn't for Brandi and Dave we would have been stuck in that apartment for ANOTHER YEAR! So far so good right now, but I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop on this house. Luckily most of my stuff is packed already, and in storage. I just brought the bare minimum to Brandi's house. My parents and our friend Bruce are helping us move. With his truck, my dads truck and our blazer we should be able to get all ours and Dustin's stuff in one trip. We are gonna get a load out of storage every day after work, and all this weekend. We have a month to clear out storage thankfully, so this move wont be as stressful as the last one.

In other news, I got a puppy!!!! Her name is Molly (I call her Molly Moo Moo, lol) She is six months old. She is dachshund and springer spaniel mix, according to the vet....She is black with a white chest and white spotted paws...oddly enough, she looks like my cat Kasey, cept shes a dog!

I don't have a decent pic of her right now, as she doesn't like to hold still for pics, but as soon as I can get her to cooperate I will post a few for ya....she's a cutie!!!

How has everyone been?? I have been pretty absent lately, and for that I am sorry. I have just been kinda down in the dumps lately and didn't feel like writing about my shitty life....*sigh*

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Went to my mom and dads anniversary party today. I had a good time, even though my family is completely psycho! My cousin Brandy went to my Aunt Wanda's house to pick up the family photos because my aunt went ape shit, quit her job, sold all her stuff and ran off to vegas with her best friends husband. I SHIT YOU NOT!!!!!!

Anyhoo, she had all the family photos in her basement, and being a crazy cat lady (I lost track at like 9) her cats pissed all over the photos and all we had left were two shoe boxes and two albums. We had given our photos to my aunt after my grandma died because at the time, she seemed the most responsible, and had the most room, because there were TONS of photos. Boxes and boxes and several albums. Now we are down to two shoe boxes and two albums....its sad! Well my cousin brought the pics out so that we could all go through them and take the ones we wanted. I started going through the biggest album and started sobbing about halfway through. There were so many pictures, and it brought back a lot of memories. We have lost so much in the last ten years! Don't get me wrong. I am somewhat happy. I have Joe and a decent job and soon I will have a cute little house. But in the last ten years I lost my grandma, I lost my two dogs and two cats (I know to some people animals are not that important, but they are to me, and I loved my babies so much, especially my Dachshund Daisy.) and I lost contact with several important members of my family. One of my moms other sisters, Sherry, became addicted to pain killers. She has birthed several children. 9 to be exact (Pedro, Jesus, Cecilia, Sophia, Tommy, Julie, Christal, Angel and a baby she gave up for adoption.) She started taking pills to get rid of her back least that why she SAID she was taking the pills. She became addicted pretty quickly and no matter what we did to help her, it just got worse and worse. She lied constantly, stole from us, prostituted herself and countless other things. After my grandma died and she stole anything of value from her apartment before we got there to pack up and distribute her belongings, we had to cut her out of our lives. Unfortunately, we lost all her children in the process. All but two of them have children now. The second youngest one is 14 and had a baby two months ago. The father is an 18 year old idiot who looks like he belong in a gang or something. He is very very scary looking and is of course not taking responsiblity for his child. The sad thing is that Christal thinks its all fun or something. I get the impression she is "playing house" right now. Wow, I digress. I am just rambling away, point of the whole thing is that it seems like our family has lost so much. A lot of us drifted away, or we had to push them away for our own well being. I told my aunt nancy that I wish things could be the way they were. Aunt Sherry and Aunt Wanda being normal again, grandma and my animals alive, the kids being kids instead of teenage mothers.....

Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Well, I am all moved into my temporary place with my sis-in-law and her boyfriend. Its going good...the house is HUGE and its only a few minutes further away from work than my old place.....I still can't wait to have my own place, probably by October 1st, but I am hoping for sooner...I do know one thing though: I am hiring a damn moving company to haul my shit to my new place...I can't go through that again! We moved during the hottest week of the summer, I swear! I thought I was going to pass out!

Well, thats all I have time for now. I have to get going to work.

Friday, August 1, 2008

For Becky

My thoughts are with you in this tough time. I am soooo sorry for your loss. If you need ANYTHING at all, please don't hesitate to let me know, ok???

Here we are...

I've held your hand
and walked with you
uphill and down
along life's pathway.

We've journeyed far
now here we are
near the end of the road
your hand in mine
holding tight.

We'll not stumble or fall
the sun shines on our path
the ends in sight.

You will leave me
I'll walk alone
but you'll leave behind
enough of you to see me through.

Until one day
my turn will come.

Once more we'll walk
hand in hand
forever friends together.

What Happened??

Hi everyone. Sorry I was outta touch for so long...I was moving and my comcast was turned off for a week and I couldn't access my email or anything for awhile....

I am getting the impression that something bad happened?? Is everyone all right???

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

I've been tagged by Sassy

Six Random Things About Me:

I too HAVE to sleep with the fan on......

I HATE to wear shoes. The moment I come in the house, I take them off...I even take them off under my desk at work.

I'm Obsessed with Zombies.

I collect stuffed and porcelain frogs.

I'm terrified of being sucked away by a tornado.

I'm addicted to the celebrity gossip blog even though he is a mean, snarky bastard.

I tag lavinia, and jess when she comes back from vacation and Holly.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Well, the reason I lost the house is cos the lady that was renting to us decided to split up with her fiance or husband or what ever he was and she needed to move back into it. I got my deposit back, but I am so upset about it. I had given my notice to the apartments and was packing and buying stuff for the house and I am just devestated. We looked and looked but none of the houses in our price range were in decent enough areas, or were not what we were looking for, so we decided to stay at our apartment complex another year. Were gonna get a two bedroom though, for Dustin. It has 1.5 bathrooms, so Joe and I will get the bigger bedroom with the half bath. It will be cheaper as we wont have as far to drive to work and we wont have all the utilities, but I am still pretty bummed out about it. Everyone was like, too bad you didn't sign a lease, blah blah blah, but its better that it worked out this way because we have been all moved and settled in and then she probably wouldn't have renewed the lease and we would have to move again. Plus we will have a pool still! See, I am trying to look on the bright side of things!

So, I drowned my sorrows in pizza, mountain dew and a new tattoo. I will take some pics of it and post it for all of you sometime later this week maybe. I have to work tomorrow (sunday) because of the 4th of July coming up. But next week I have FOUR days off!!!!! They did it this way so the drivers wont have to work the holiday. Its all good, cos I will have FOUR days off work! WOOT WOOT!!!

Work has been going a bit better. Things seem to be slowing down a bit lately. I think I only had about 3 hours of overtime last week, so thats good. And one day I got off while it was still daylight outside!!!! YEAH!!!!

So, sorry that I haven't been by anyones blogs lately. Tomorrow after work I might drop by and see what everyone has been up too. I was just so busy being depressed and looking for a place to live......I'm okay now though.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Lost the house. Not in the mood to blog lately, too bummed out. will update this weekend maybe....

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Got my test results in today, and they came back benign!!!!!!

"dancing around my apartment"


I have to have a pap every three months until I have three good ones in a row, which will SUCK!!! Cos I HATE PAP TESTS!! But, on the other hand, I DONT HAVE CANCER!!!!! I think I can handle a pap test every three months to be cancer free!

Thanks for all your support ladies, it meant the world to me.....

Friday, May 16, 2008

Went to the doc today. She did a scraping of tissue in my cervix...she didn't see any abnormal cells but she took the scraping to test just in case.....the results will be back in a week.....

Let me tell you, that scraping hurt like hell!!!! I feel fine now, but damn!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Joe got sick yesterday. Fever, coughing, congestion, sneezy runny nose.....He worked all day, and by the end of the day he was all wobbly and his eyes were all glassy. Luckily, we only had to work 13 hours. We were outta there by 1030. It was soooo nice!!! Today, he called off. He hasn't called off since we started working there so I know he is really sick....guys are such whiners though!!! I think he WAS being overly dramatic at times though....I dosed him up on nyquil and made him some toast and hot tea and he fell asleep propped up on the couch so he could breath.
I just hope I don't get sick now. I just cant handle being sick and working all these hours. I won't be able to call off. Our new lady started yesterday and she seems to really know her stuff, so hopefully there is a light at the end of the tunnel job wise.

My biopsy is Friday and I am real nervous. I looked it up on the internet and they shoot some kind of iodine solution inside me (ouch!!) so they can see the abnormal cells, then they stick this pair of real long sissors up me and cut off a piece!!! They said I would feel a pinch and some cramping, but I bet it will be extremely painful....I have a wedding to go to the next day, so it better not be a lingering cramp or I'm gonna be pissed...

Well, I gotta eat something before work. Have a good day everyone!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Good and Bad News

Well, I have had a mixture of a week. I have had some good news, and some bad news. I don't have time to go into it all right now, but its in my heart and on my mind, so I had to post something....

The bad news first: I have something called High Grade Cervical Dsyplasia. Its abnormal cells in my doctor said that it can turn into cervical cancer...I have a high risk of that happening....they sent my tests to a gynocologist who is going to look them over and call me to schedule an appointment to do a biopsy. I will keep you updated...I am pretty scared right now.

The good news: My employers are really noticing how hard I have been working lately. They not only gave me, and a few others a bonus, but I also got a raise!! WHOO HOO!!! I got my raise because I showed my dedication (or craziness, you decide) for staying and working an 18 hour shift even though I was so sick, I had a fever and was nausous and almost threw up several times.

Well, thats all for now. I will update more this weekend.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Congrats to our lovely Holly and her baby!!! I can't wait to see pics!!! Thank You Lori for letting me know!!


Work was okay this week. We got out about midnight every night but Thursday, which was about 230 am. Blech! I don't even wanna talk about work though, lets move on shall we???

Joe, Dustin and I are moving into a gorgeous house August 1st!!!!! It has all refinished hard wood floors, the original claw foot tub, refinished as well. (Its in our Historical Section, behind the Oliver Mansion Museum.) It has a full attic, with a little room with a stained glass window...a full basement with washer and dryer. It has a foyer, dining room, eat in kitchen, two bedrooms with walk in closets, a huge walk in pantry, a mud room and a fenced in LARGE back yard with a one car garage. It also has a large front porch and I am gonna be getting a porch swing!! I can't wait!!!! I will keep you updated, and hopefully I can get pictures now that Joe found my camera!


Here are the pics I took, of my birfday cake my big brother made me, and of the dafodiles growing by my patio, that I told Lavinia about:

Friday, April 25, 2008

Hi everyone. Sorry I have been out of touch. I had a VERY long week. I guesstimate that I worked about 63 hours in 4 days. I worked 930 am Monday till 330 Am Tuesday, went home, slept about 4 hours, then was back at 10 am that same day and worked till midnight. Worked 10 am till midnight on wednesday, then worked 930 am Thursday, till 245 am wednesday. I came home, went to bed and slept till noon, got up for a few hours, then went back to sleep and slept till about 930. I feel much better now, though the only thing I go accomplished was cleaning the rat cage.


Last weekend Joe was supposed to take me to Olive Garden, but when we got there the line of people waiting for a table was almost around the building, so we ended up going to Logans RoadHouse......I don't know if they have those everywhere, or just South Bend, but they are a steak house, and they have the most delicious rolls, steaks and just about everything. A bit pricey, but very good food and service. You also get a bucket of peanuts and you just throw the shells on the floor!!!!!!!!!

My brother made me a cake, though I didnt give him enough notice to make it classic Pooh, but it was a cool cake anyways. I took a pic, I just havent had time to DL it. I will do that as soon as I can, and post it for you all.


My meds seem to be helping me a lot. I forgot to take them yesterday though. The first half of the day I was downright chipper, but as the hours wore on, I started to feel fuzzy and frayed around the edges. By 130 am, I was so upset I was close to pulling my hair out. I chewed Joe out for being slow and totally snapped at my boss. Luckily he understood and I wont get in trouble. We've all been working so many long hours that we are all snapping at each other and falling apart.

The head supervisor, our floor supervisor (the one I yelled at) and our Human Resources director called everyone into the office one by one to thank us for all our hard work these last few days and the tell us we are doing a good job. Our workload literally doubled in a week and we are so short handed right now its pathetic. They hired a few people and hopefully it will get better.

They are supposed to be hiring me a helper, most likely a temp or a part timer just to help me with the date entry so I can do my other duties and not get behind. I had been able to handle it until this week. I wont get into all the detail of the drama in my office, but lets just say that hopefully they will be getting rid of the unreliable people and actually put someone in my office that can help me instead of screwing me over constantly.

Well, sorry this post jumped around a bit. So much has been going on, and I am still so tired, so I dont know if it has made any sense to any of you.

Good Night

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Worked two VERY VERY long days....will update this weekend on everything that has happened. Too tired to do it right now.

Love ya,


Saturday, April 19, 2008

Well, I went to the doctor Friday, and I am now on Prozac......took my first dose today. I hope it helps me....

She also wants me to do a sleep study the end of May. She thinks I have sleep apnea....I know I do snore a lot, but to be honest, I don't think I have it. A major sign of it is being constantly sleepy, and falling asleep during the day. Thats not me. I mean, I am tired, but its just cos of all the hours I work. I worked 17 hours on Thursday. I went in at 930 am and didnt get off till 230 friday morning. Thats why I'm tired. I don't start the day out tired. I wake up feeling refreshed most of the time. I am thinking of changing doctors. it seems like to her, every problem I bring up is caused by my weight. I know I am over weight but not ALL my problems are caused by that. Sheesh. It's so hard to find a good doctor these days.

My blood pressure is good now though. It was high, and she put me on meds....I took em for a month, then ran out but my pressure is still good. My sugar is still up. so I am still taking my metformin for I am on birth control, metformin and prozac. My desk is beginning to look like my grams with all the pill bottles!! I just dropped 62 bucks at the pharmacy!!!!

Well, I am gonna get off here. Joe is taking me to Olive Garden for my bday dinner. I got a new outfit to wear..I am looking forward to actually going on a "date" with him!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Well, my birthday was a quiet affair, mostly cos I'm celebrating it this weekend since I had to work and I get paid this week, so I will have the money to properly celebrate it!!

My dad's 50th was this weekend as well, two days before mine. We threw him a huge bash....kudos to my sis in law and brother for all their hard work, as me and my mom had to work, so we couldn't help much. My brother made a cool ass cake that looked like a demolition derby. He had little hills made out of cake, and brown frosting for the dirt, and little matchbox cars and monster trucks. It was awesome!!! Tasted great too!!! Then Sunday I let Joe go on the Road Rally with my dad and step bro, even though it was my birthday. I had the house to myself on my bday...peace and quiet!! They got third place too, which was totally cool.

Sperm Donor (bio dad) sent me a card on my bday. It was early!! I couldn't believe it!! He remembered AND it was early!!! Will wonders never cease!!! It had a little note it in telling me he knew that he forgot things and was never around but that he does love me, blah blah blah...I jotted a quick note telling him thanks, and sent the pic of me and Joe that was taken right before xmas..the one on my myspace page.....I just don't know what to do when it comes to him..never do, prolly never will.....

Work seems to be going better this week. Only worked three hours overtime in two days, instead of 8...yay!!!!

Well, gotta go check on my dinner. Thanks for all the bday wishes everyone!!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Yay!!! I got a reprieve and now I don't have to work on bday is looking up!!!

Oh man, I am exhausted. I worked 9.5 hours doing hard manual labor and let me tell you, after a year of parking my big butt in an office chair, I got freaking weak....I thought I was gonna die today. My feet and back hurt, I was sweating like a pig and I could barely move!!! I am so glad it is over with!!!

I worked 60 hours in 5 days this week!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Well, I am getting ready to head off to work for a 6 day shift. You probably wont hear from me much this week........

Sunday is my 29th Birthday and that is the only day I get off this week. *sigh* So, I am celebrating it the next weekend. Joe asked what I wanted, and I told him, take me to get a new outfit, then take me to see Forever thats what he's gonna do.

Talk to ya all next week!

Friday, April 4, 2008

Ok, I know this will sound kinda corny and goofy, but New Kids on The Block are getting back together, and I am so excited its pathetic!!

I LOVED them. To the point of obsession. My walls were papered with posters and pin ups, I had the Joey doll, I had ALL their tapes, buttons, hats, tshirts, even went to a concert when they were in South Bend.

I watched their apperance on the Today show this morning, plus I am signed up to receive updates from their website......

I know, I'm pathetic....I can't help it, and I can't wait!!!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Doing better. Dont have time to make a full post, but I just wanted to let you all know I AM doing ok. Made a doc appt, and had a LONG talk with Joe about things. I think I got through to him, and having a lot off my chest helped as well.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

There are days when I wish I didn't even existed.

I think I need to go to the doc and get on some meds. I am never happy anymore.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Hey everyone. Thanks for all your concerns about my cousin Shane. He's out of the hospital now. They finally gave him a blood transfusion. The bleedings stopped and his blood count stayed in the normal range, or something like that. He still doesn't feel his best, but he's home and thats a good thing.


Joe's b-day is this coming Friday. He's bummed out cos he wanted to have a bonfire like last year, but so far the forecast for Friday is wet and cold.....can't really have a fire if its raining and all the wood is wet. I tried to tell him we could have a little get together at our VFW. They have a full kitchen and cheap bear, plus dart boards and a pool table, and a juke box! But you know guys. He's pouting cos he can't do what HE wants. GRRRRRR!!!!

I'm a bit irritated at him right now anyways. He just HAD to go off to the bar. Thursday he said all he wanted to do was sit at home and "actually relax for a change" as he ALWAYS says! So, I made sure we got all our errands done on Friday, so we wouldn't have to go anywhere the rest of the weekend. Hurried up and got the house cleaned and next thing you know, he's off to the bar! Didn't even ask if I wanted to go until I got upset. No, I don't want to go actually. I value my lungs...kinda need them to breath an all, ya know??

It just really irritates me. I don't know. Maybe I am over reacting....he says he wants to fact, thats ALL he says sometimes. "I wanna relax for change. I never get to relax."

Me: "Joe, can you take out the trash while I clean the kitchen. Its over flowing."

Joe: " I guess. I really just wanted to relax for a change. I never get to relax."

Never mind the fact that he sits and relaxes before work. The first thing he does when he gets home from work is sits in his recliner and relax. On the weekends, he gets up, and sits in his recliner and relaxes..GRRRRR

Last weekend, he took Wednesday and Thursday off. Combined with our normal three day weekends, he had FIVE DAYS OFF!!!

And guess what? He claims he didnt get to relax, cos he cleaned the house.

If you consider taking out the trash and doing the dishes cleaning house.

He didn't vacuum, clean the bathroom or sweep and mop the kitchen...but he "cleaned" the house. And he didn't get to relax. When in fact, he played video games all day on Wednesday!

I wasn't asking him to clean the house top or bottom. Just straighten it up a bit.

I just don't get his whole obsession with "relaxing" lately. Its all I hear from him anymore.

I know we work long hours. For those of you who don't know, we work in the same place, though in different areas. I work in the office, doing data entry, and other clerical things. He works in the warehouse, picking orders and sorting and stuff. He has a hard, physical job. I understand that, cos I used to do it before I got promoted. But I still work hard. I am still tired when I get off of work. Maybe not physically, but mentally I am EXHAUSTED. Especially since we work ten or more hours a day. Most Mondays I go in at 930 and dont get off till close to midnight. Then I am back to work the next day at 930 and usually work till 930, sometimes later. The only days I seem to get out at a decent time are Wednesday and Thursday. And I still work 10 to 11 hours on those days, and sometimes I don't take a lunch or any breaks. I never take breaks actually, but sometimes I get a lunch. There is usually just too much work to do, and after 4 I am pretty much by myself, trying to get it all done. At least he has a whole warehouse full of people to help with his job. I am BY MYSELF! Then I come home, make quick dinner and take care of the rats and cats. Don't get me wrong, if I ask him to do something he will, but I would just for once like it if he would take the initiative, and do the dishes, or make dinner, or do laundry, or feed the cats, or clean the rat cage. If I don't, he will sit in his recliner, smoking a cigarette and "relaxing". I really hate that word now!

I know this comes across as sounding like I am unhappy, but I'm not. I guess I just need to get it off my chest. If I don't, I will just scream. And yelling at him doesn't help any. He refuses to actually fight with me. He will just get mad, and go sit in the car for an hour, then come back in,sit in his recliner and smoke a cigarette and refuse to talk about it.....*sigh*

Friday, March 7, 2008

My cousin Shane is in the hospital. Has been since Wednesday evening. He fell down and actually tore his spleen. He is in tremendous amounts of pain, so much so they have him on morphine. He is bleeding internally. They are trying to get him to stop without having to do surgery. Now, I'm no doctor, but if he is still bleeding three days later, shouldn't they just do the surgery? I mean, he's in pain. I stopped by to see him today and I could tell how bad he was. He kept losing breath mid sentence and every time he coughed he almost cried. Now, Shane is my oldest cousin and I have never seen him anything but strong and fit and full of humor. It was so creepy to see him lying in that bed, in so much pain. I wanted to cry!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Birthday Wishes

Happy Birthday Ange

I hope you have a great one!!!!

Friday, February 22, 2008

I just found out that my cousin Christal, who is only 14 years old is four months pregnant.......I am completely speechless......

Thursday, February 21, 2008

February 21st

February 21st is always a very hard day for me. Today is the 4th anniversary of my grandma's death and it is soooo hard for me to deal with it. See, my grandma helped raise my brother and I after our "father" walked out on us. She could be very difficult to live with at times, but she was always there for us, no matter what.

I felt like I lost a parent the day she died and I just have so much trouble with this day. Sorry to bum everybody out, but I had to get it off my chest.

Loves to ya all

Saturday, February 16, 2008

My new babies!!!!

Meet Kodo (front) and Podo (back). My two fancy male rats. Joe and I just got them from Pet Smart. I have been wanting to get a new pet from the rodent family for awhile.

Their names are weird, but if anyone is familiar with the Beast Master movies and series will get the connection, lol......

I guess they are brothers, which I think is awesome!

Friday, February 15, 2008

Maybe they should start making more things in the USA, huh??

Importer Recalls Valentine Lollipops

10 hours ago

LAKELAND, Fla. — The importer of a Valentine's Day lollipop said it was voluntarily recalling the treats after metal fragments were found in at least two lollipops sold at central Florida stores.

Sherwood Brands of Maryland, which imports the candy from China, said it was recalling all of its Pokemon Valentine Cards and Pops, which have been pulled from the shelves of thousands of stores across the country.

Roughly 20 lollipops were seized at Kathleen Elementary School in Lakeland. X-rays determined that only one piece definitely had metal — what appeared to be a staple — baked inside, Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said.

On Wednesday, a woman in nearby Mulberry told authorities she found a lollipop with a piece of metal in it in a bag of the same product. The metal appeared to be part of a razor blade, authorities said.

The sheriff's office issued a safety advisory and the Dollar General chain removed the product from its more than 8,000 stores nationwide. The Food and Drug Administration is investigating.

Judd said the two tainted lollipops were purchased from different Dollar General stores near Lakeland. He said the lollipops did not appear to have been tampered with and it appeared the metal was baked into the candy in China, where it was produced.

"Our children were put at risk of physical injury because of this," Judd said.

No injuries were reported and it was unclear whether the metal was intentionally placed in the candy.

The sheriff's office said Sherwood Brands was cooperating. "They are as concerned as we are," Judd said.

Sherwood Brands did not return calls seeking comment Thursday but announced the recall in a statement. The company said it was recalling the cards and treats, which were sold in packages of 10 and 30.

"Sherwood Brands is advising its distribution network to remove the Pokemon branded Valentine cards and lollipops from the shelves immediately. The product was sold at retailers nationwide," the company said in the statement.

Dollar General, headquartered in Goodlettsville, Tenn., also pulled another Sherwood Brands product, Dog Artlist Collection Valentine Cards and Pops, from shelves. Tawn Earnest, a spokeswoman for the chain, said no other pieces of metal have been found in the manufacturer's products.

China's reputation as an exporter has taken a beating in the past year following the discovery of dangerous chemicals in products from toothpaste to toys. Last year it announced a series of measures to boost product supervision.

Sunday, February 10, 2008


Im looking for a beef stew or soup recipe that doesnt have about a gazillion veggies in!!!!!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Hmmmm, where to start??

I've been thinking about things lately.....something has been on mind.

I feel like I have failed a certain three little someones. Julie, Christal and Angel. I failed them.

Their mother, who unfortunately is my mothers sister, is a drug addict, lying, cheating whore. I mean the whore part literally. Shes a prostitute. In fact, she just got arrested for giving a man a blow job behind one of our local supermarkets.

I know she treated the girls badly. Their house was filthy and full of cockroaches. They never had anything. They moved around constantly, their father was in jail for conspiracy to commit murder for goodness sakes.

I called Child Protective Services on her once. Fat lot of good it did. They said they did not find any signs of abuse. Maybe she didn't beat the holy hell out of them or burn them, but she sure as hell neglected them. And she did hit them too much. And screamed at them. And she didnt take care of them or love them.

One summer, Julie came to spend the night and stayed a month. I wanted to keep her so bad. But I didn't fight for her when she had to go home. I should have. Why didn't I? I may not have been able to give her much, but I could have given her love.

Angel, the youngest is so beautiful now. I saw them at the store the other day, with their older sister...a younger version of their mother right about now. I hadn't seen her since our grandma died almost five years ago. Goodness, it will be five years on February 21st.

Angel has a bit of brain damage because Sherry, my "aunt" abused prescription pain pill and I'm sure various other drugs while pregnant with her. She almost got taken away from her, but she promised us she would clean herself up. So we all got together and cleaned her house and helped her keep Angel. The clean up act lasted about a month before she was back to her old ways.

Julie and Christal, from what I have heard, are already having sex at tender ages of 16 and 13. I gave Julie condoms. I don't approve of what she is doing, but I figured she will do it no matter what anyone says, so she might as well be protected. I haven't seen Christal in about four years, so I don't know.

I don't know why I am blogging about this. It's too personal, but I had to get it off my chest. Seeing Julie and Angel at the store, seeing Julie with make up on and clothing too mature for her age really kicked me in the gut. I should have done something more for them....CPS should have as well. Couldn't they see how nasty and disgusting that house was?? A concerned family member called them for help and they did nothing. Why?? Why did those three beautiful girls have to be born into a life where they have to deal with such horrible things like this...a mother getting arrested for prostitution for goodness sakes!!!

I'll probably delete this post tomorrow, but for now its up here. I just needed to let it all out.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Rest In Peace

I dont know about the rest of you, but I am pretty upset about the death of Heath Ledger. He was an excellent actor, an I loved that he could play so many different roles and still be believable.

My heart goes out to his daughter and the rest of the family. His little girl will barely remember him.

Its sad. Such a waste.

Now, I just heard, that that hate monger Reverend Phelps will be picketing his funeral because he played a gay cowboy in Brokeback Mountain!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Things have been so frapping busy for me lately. I have been working long hours, and with the holidays, I feel like I only exist for errands. Now its so freaking cold out right now its a bitch to get anything done. I work all week, until after 7 pm most of the time, and I go in at 930. I was going in at 7 am, but they wanted to cut my OT, which is fine by me, cos I was close to exhaustion. Anyhoo, since I get out so late, its impossible for me to get anything done during the week, so what do I do on the weekends, when I could be relaxing?? Running errands!! My apartment is a mess all the time because I don't have any time to REALLY clean it, my diet has gone to shit because I have no time to cook a proper meal, and I have been grabbing what ever I can so my stomach stops growling!

*gasping for air*

Ok. I'm done ranting. I just needed to bitch for a minute, lol.

Joe and I did manage to find sometime to do some cleaning on Friday. We (mostly him to be honest) moved all the furniture out of the living room, then vacuumed and steam cleaned the carpet, then vacuumed again because of Kasey's long ass cat hair. It gets everywhere! Then we re arranged the living room. We had to throw out our old leather recliner because Samantha clawed the hell out of the back of it, so now our living room almost seems empty.

Then today, we did the dining room, cleaned the carpets and moved a few things around. Next weekend we will probably do the bedroom. We are on the lookout for a new dresser to make the room look a bit better. We have too many clothes for our current dresser, so our room always looks like a disaster!

My mom decided to get new family pictures done, and I think they came out pretty good. Heres me and Joe. This is the first professional picture we had done together. Walmart portrait studios do a pretty damn good job, and for the fraction of the price of Owen Mills and the other fancy schmancy places.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Glen Gibbs
> Number 10
> Life is sexually transmitted.
> Number 9
> Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
> Number 8
> Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
> erection, make him a sandwich.
> Number 7
> Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use
> the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
> Number 6
> Some people are like a Slinky ... Not really good for anything, but you
> still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
> Number 5
> Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
> of nothing.
> Number 4
> All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
> criticism.
> Number 3
> Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax
> cut saves you $0.30?
> Number 2
> In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
> weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
> We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the
> millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't got a clue as
> to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.
> Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
> And the BONUS thought for today
> "Life is like a jar of jalapeƱos . What you do today, might burn your
> ass tomorrow".