Friday, November 21, 2008

I had a pretty eventful week this week. Well, actually just the last two days were eventful I guess! I could tell something was happening, as my boss's office is right next to mine, and he talks VERY LOUDLY even when its a normal conversation, and my desk is up against the wall we share. He had the Human Resources lady in there, and kept calling people in. Some came out crying, or VERY angry. Then I find out that they were moving people to different departments. Ok. Fine. I didn't think they were gonna move me cos I have tried to move and tried to move to no avail. I was resigned to being stuck in my little corner doing data entry for the rest of my life. Well, at the end of the day I was putting invoices together and the boss pulls one of the ladies from customer service into his office. I ended with her being walked out with all her personal belongings, and of course a lot of crying. I was ready to leave a few minutes later so I grab my purse and coat only to find the boss and the HR lady waiting for me at the time clock. He says "clock out and meet me in the office." My stomach dropped to my feet! Then I look at my boss and see he's SMILING!

"So, since your smiling, I am going to assume your NOT firing me??" My exact words, I promise.

The HR lady bursts out laughing and we go to her office where they tell me that I am being moved to customer service starting December 1st!

Now, I am all sorts of excited until they tell me my hours. I will be working 830-7 monday thru thursday. I am used to working 10 hours a day, thats not a problem. But working till 7 at night during the winter?? It will be pitch black and snowy! But, I will get a raise after I am trained. They want to base it on my performance so I need to bust my ass! One other downside is that at 4 oclock I have to leave customer service and go back to my old job and finish it up cos the guy they are putting in there leaves at 4 for school. Now, I don't mind doing different things and helping out, but that just sucks donkey balls. What if he gets way behind and I am stuck there till all hours of the night?? Oh well, at least I didn't get fired, and I will be getting a raise in about a month or so, so thats good!

How was everyone elses week???

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Its been over a month since Joe and I split up. I think I am doing ok. I had my moments, and still do sometimes. Sometimes I get so flipping lonely that I want to tear my hair out and scream. I am assuming that is pretty normal post break up behavior. I have been spending more time with my mom and brother lately. I went to my moms for dinner after work yesterday and had a really good time. I miss that.

I realized the other day that I had withdrawn from a lot of things BEFORE Joe and I split....I wondered why and did some self reflection and realized that I did it because I wanted to avoid fighting with Joe after he got drunk. You see, Joe in an alcoholic. I knew that a long time ago. He knew it too and told me once that he was worried that he would turn into his father. I tried to support him, tried to get him into AA or something similar. He wouldn't do it. I had no idea what to do in a situation like that except try and avoid situations where there might be alcohol present. Which was hard as all our friends and family drink socially.

I completely lost my taste for alcohol during all of this. I would avoid going to see my fave local band, Forever Gypsy, avoided going to parties and events with my friends, just so we wouldn't fight. He never knew when to stop drinking and when I was ready to go, or told him he had enough, he would get mad and act like a fricking child and it was soooo embarassing and frustrating and scary. I never knew what to do, I couldn't calm him down for anything and in the end he usually got his way, or we had a screaming match and we would drive away squealing the tires on our blazer and stay away for an hour or to make a long story short (too late, lol) I had withdrawn a lot. Its hard to get back in the swing of things. Saturday I went to a bar to see the band play and I was tense for a lot of it until I realized what I was doing. I was waiting for a fight that wasn't going to come. So I relaxed and started dancing a bit with my bar friends. It was nice and I'm glad that I was able to loosen up a bit.

I still miss Joe and probably always will a little bit as he was my first serious relationship and my first love, but I think I will miss the IDEA of what I thought he was, not who he really was deep down. Its going to take me awhile, but I am healing and feeling a bit better every day.