Hmmmm, where to start??

I've been thinking about things lately.....something has been on mind.

I feel like I have failed a certain three little someones. Julie, Christal and Angel. I failed them.

Their mother, who unfortunately is my mothers sister, is a drug addict, lying, cheating whore. I mean the whore part literally. Shes a prostitute. In fact, she just got arrested for giving a man a blow job behind one of our local supermarkets.

I know she treated the girls badly. Their house was filthy and full of cockroaches. They never had anything. They moved around constantly, their father was in jail for conspiracy to commit murder for goodness sakes.

I called Child Protective Services on her once. Fat lot of good it did. They said they did not find any signs of abuse. Maybe she didn't beat the holy hell out of them or burn them, but she sure as hell neglected them. And she did hit them too much. And screamed at them. And she didnt take care of them or love them.

One summer, Julie came to spend the night and stayed a month. I wanted to keep her so bad. But I didn't fight for her when she had to go home. I should have. Why didn't I? I may not have been able to give her much, but I could have given her love.

Angel, the youngest is so beautiful now. I saw them at the store the other day, with their older sister...a younger version of their mother right about now. I hadn't seen her since our grandma died almost five years ago. Goodness, it will be five years on February 21st.

Angel has a bit of brain damage because Sherry, my "aunt" abused prescription pain pill and I'm sure various other drugs while pregnant with her. She almost got taken away from her, but she promised us she would clean herself up. So we all got together and cleaned her house and helped her keep Angel. The clean up act lasted about a month before she was back to her old ways.

Julie and Christal, from what I have heard, are already having sex at tender ages of 16 and 13. I gave Julie condoms. I don't approve of what she is doing, but I figured she will do it no matter what anyone says, so she might as well be protected. I haven't seen Christal in about four years, so I don't know.

I don't know why I am blogging about this. It's too personal, but I had to get it off my chest. Seeing Julie and Angel at the store, seeing Julie with make up on and clothing too mature for her age really kicked me in the gut. I should have done something more for them....CPS should have as well. Couldn't they see how nasty and disgusting that house was?? A concerned family member called them for help and they did nothing. Why?? Why did those three beautiful girls have to be born into a life where they have to deal with such horrible things like this...a mother getting arrested for prostitution for goodness sakes!!!

I'll probably delete this post tomorrow, but for now its up here. I just needed to let it all out.

Rest In Peace

I dont know about the rest of you, but I am pretty upset about the death of Heath Ledger. He was an excellent actor, an I loved that he could play so many different roles and still be believable.

My heart goes out to his daughter and the rest of the family. His little girl will barely remember him.



Its sad. Such a waste.


Now, I just heard, that that hate monger Reverend Phelps will be picketing his funeral because he played a gay cowboy in Brokeback Mountain!

Things have been so frapping busy for me lately. I have been working long hours, and with the holidays, I feel like I only exist for errands. Now its so freaking cold out right now its a bitch to get anything done. I work all week, until after 7 pm most of the time, and I go in at 930. I was going in at 7 am, but they wanted to cut my OT, which is fine by me, cos I was close to exhaustion. Anyhoo, since I get out so late, its impossible for me to get anything done during the week, so what do I do on the weekends, when I could be relaxing?? Running errands!! My apartment is a mess all the time because I don't have any time to REALLY clean it, my diet has gone to shit because I have no time to cook a proper meal, and I have been grabbing what ever I can so my stomach stops growling!

*gasping for air*

Ok. I'm done ranting. I just needed to bitch for a minute, lol.

Joe and I did manage to find sometime to do some cleaning on Friday. We (mostly him to be honest) moved all the furniture out of the living room, then vacuumed and steam cleaned the carpet, then vacuumed again because of Kasey's long ass cat hair. It gets everywhere! Then we re arranged the living room. We had to throw out our old leather recliner because Samantha clawed the hell out of the back of it, so now our living room almost seems empty.

Then today, we did the dining room, cleaned the carpets and moved a few things around. Next weekend we will probably do the bedroom. We are on the lookout for a new dresser to make the room look a bit better. We have too many clothes for our current dresser, so our room always looks like a disaster!

My mom decided to get new family pictures done, and I think they came out pretty good. Heres me and Joe. This is the first professional picture we had done together. Walmart portrait studios do a pretty damn good job, and for the fraction of the price of Owen Mills and the other fancy schmancy places.

Glen Gibbs

PONDER THESE THOUGHTS IN 2008
>
> Number 10
> Life is sexually transmitted.
>
> Number 9
> Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
>
> Number 8
> Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
> erection, make him a sandwich.
>
> Number 7
> Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use
> the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
>
> Number 6
> Some people are like a Slinky ... Not really good for anything, but you
> still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
>
> Number 5
> Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
> of nothing.
>
> Number 4
> All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
> criticism.
>
> Number 3
> Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax
> cut saves you $0.30?
>
> Number 2
> In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
> weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
>
> AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2008 :
> We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the
> millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't got a clue as
> to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.
> Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
>
> And the BONUS thought for today
>
> "Life is like a jar of jalapeños . What you do today, might burn your
> ass tomorrow".