Monday, December 31, 2007

a friend of mine sent me this. it made me cry.

>> A man in Grand Rapids, Michigan incredibly took out a $7000 full page ad
>> in
>> the paper to present the following essay to the people of his community.

>> HOW COULD YOU? By Jim Willis, 2001
>> When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh.
>> You
>> called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple
>> of
>> murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad,"
>> you
>> d shake your finger at me and ask How could you?" -- but then you'd
>> relent
>> and roll me over for a bellyrub.
>> My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were
>> terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I re member those n ights of
>> nuzzling y ou in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams,
>> and I believed that life could not be any more perfect.
>> We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice
>> cream
>> (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I
>> took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the
>> day
>> Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and
>> more
>> time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted
>> you
>> through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad
>> decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in
>> love.
& gt;> She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into
>> our
>> home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because
>> you
>> were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your
>> excitement... I
>> was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to
>> mother
>> them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent
>> most
>> of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate.
>> Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a prisoner of love." As they
>> began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled
>> themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my
>> ears
>> and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their
>> touch
> ;> -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended
>> them
>> with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to
>> their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of
>> your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if
>> you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told
>> them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and
>> changed the subject.
>> I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every
>> expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in
>> another
>> city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow
>> pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a
>> t ime
>& gt; when I was your only family. I was excited about the car ride until we
>> arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of
>> hopelessness.
>> You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home
>> for
>> her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the
>> realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to
>> pry
>> your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please
>> don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you
>> had
>> just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and
>> responsibility,
>> and about respect for all life.
>> You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely
>> refused to take my collar and leash wit h you. You had a deadline to meet
>> and
>> now I ha ve one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you
>> probably
>> knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me
>> another good home. They shook their heads and asked, "How could you?"
>> They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules
>> allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At
>> first,
>> whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you
>> that
>> you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped
>> it
>> would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.
>> When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of
>> happy puppies, obl ivious to th eir own fate, I retreated to a far corner
>> and
>> waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day,
>> and
>> I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room.
>> A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears,
>> and
>> told me not to worry. My heart pounded in an ticipation of what was to
>> come,
>> but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of
>> days.
>> As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she
>> bears
>> weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every
>> mood.
>> She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her
>> cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many
>> years
>> ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the
>> sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily,
>> looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"
>> Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry."
>> She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went
>> to
>> a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or
>> have
>> to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from
>> this
>> earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her
>> with
>> a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her.
>> It was dire cted at you , My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will
>> think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue
>> to
>> show you so much loyalty.
>> A Note from the Author: If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as
>> you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the
>> composite story of the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each
>> year
>> in American & Canadian animal shelters. Please use this to help educate,
>> on
>> your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin
>> boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is
>> an
>> important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care,
>> that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your
>> responsibility
>> ; and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good
>> advice, and that all life is precious. Ple ase do your part to stop the
>> killing, and encourage all spay & neuter campaigns in order to prevent
>> unwanted animals.
>> Please pass this on to everyone, not to hurt them or make them sad, but
>> it
>> could save maybe, even one, unwanted pet.
>> Remember...They love UNCONDITIONALLY.

Monday, December 24, 2007


Monday, December 3, 2007

pretty sad today. a friend of my family's died of cancer. very unexpected. she was a sweet lady, very kind and generous, and LOVED animal. the world lost a wonderful person.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Holy smokes!! Even with the wonderful Thanksgiving feast my mom made, I still managed to lose another 3.4 lbs, for a total of 12.2!!! I couldn't believe it!!!!!!

How was everyones Thanksgiving??? Hope it was as good as mine!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

It's days like today that I wonder why I even bother. Sometimes I really hate men.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

This is just weird and sick, and god I hope he doesn't have a traditional wedding night!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Hey Everyone!

It's been awhile huh? Sorry I haven't been around for awhile, I've just not been in a blogging mood, plus I have been pretty busy.

I'm still doing weight watchers. I've lost almost 9 lbs now, yay me! It's getting harder the closer to the holidays it gets. I went to the store the other day and it is just chock full of all my favorite holiday treats! :-( But I resisted!!!! I don't always resist though. I've cheated a few times, and I really should exercise more.

I've been thinking of going back to school. I'm not rushing into anything, it's a big decision, but its really been on my mind lately. I've been looking into the respiratory therapy program at Ivy Tech. I've always wanted to help people, and it seem very interesting. I've also been looking at the Human Services program. I wouldn't mind being a case worker or something like that. I will probably go down to the school after the holidays, and talk to someone. If I do this, it will probably be for the spring semester.

Joe and I did our fall cleaning. We cleaned out closets, and rearranged the bedroom, cleaning all the nooks and crannies and finding all sorts of things under the bed, mainly all the socks Joe whined about not being able to find. I think there were about 5 pairs of socks under the damn bed!

I go back to the doc after Thanksgiving for a check up on my diabetes. I keep forgetting to take my meds though. I don't mean to, It just completely slips my mind. I know I need to take it, but I have always been bad about taking pills. I also can't test my sugar anymore. I ran out of test strips and I checked on the price of them at the store, and they cost more than 40 bucks! And insurance doesn't cover them either! What kinda bull is that??

Well, thats all for now. Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving, in case I don't manage to blog again before that.

Friday, October 12, 2007

A Not So Good Diagnosis

Today I went to the doctor and found out that I am Pre Diabetic. Not good. Not good at all. Both my grandmothers were/are diabetic and I never wanted that for me. It's may fault though, for letting myself get so heavy. I'm working on it now though. My new, healthy lifestyle is going well. I go to my next Weight Watchers meeting tomorrow, to see how much more I lost. I prefer to go by their scale as opposed to my doctors. According to my doc's, I lost another two pounds, but Weight Watchers is digital, so I want to go by theirs. Anyhoo, I have to take medication, and check my sugar three times a week, then see my doc again in six weeks. She thinks I will be okay as long as I keep going to weight watchers and keep losing weight. I'm upset, but hopeful.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Last week I joined Weight Watchers. I have been slowly making major lifestyle changes for myself. I havn't posted anything about it yet because I wanted to see if it would work. I went to the meeting, bought some low point goodies, went to the grocery store and got some weight watcher and lean cuisine meals and snacks for work......aaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnndddddddddd!!!!!!!

I LOST FOUR POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was freaking hungry all week, but i lost four pounds!! I didn't exactly feel deprived of a sweets person...i had my desserts and cookies from weight watchers and they taste yummy...i just was so used to eating what i wanted, when i wanted and going overboard, that my tummy was like, FEED ME!!! when it really wasnt hungry.....i am extremely proud of myself, and i just wanted to share....

I also go for walks now and try and be more active. I feel better..better about myself, and i am happy, especially when i saw that i lost four pounds!!!!!!!!!


Today, I went to my moms, got my moms dog, my sister in law, and one of her dogs, and we went for a walk in the back field. It was freaking sweltering too...I thought I was gonna die....then after I rehydrated, I took my cousins three kids and we went across the road, got them some pumpkins and then went in the corn maze where I got freaking LOST!!!! but only for a few minutes, lol.....then we fed the goats, played with their boston terrier and went I am relaxing and cooling off in my air conditioned apartment cos ITS FREAKING HOT!!!!!! on Oct. 6th!!!!!

Sunday, September 23, 2007


Went to the Haunted House last night, had a blast. They actually scared me this year, which is unusual...I don't scare easily at all. I'm a hardcore horror fan...I especially love movies with zombies in it....hell, I even dream about zombies!! LOL....I loved the Haunted House so much this year, I went through twice, which I have never done.....The first time I went through, a zombie came after me and I freaked out! I started screaming, and I shoved through Joe and Dustin to get away, was a blast!!!!


So how is everyone?? I haven't been around very much. I try and comment sometimes to keep up with everyone, let em know I'm still alive.

I've got some health issues. Gotta get blood drawn to see whats the matter. I haven't had my period in almost two months, thought I was pregnant but I'm not. I was very disappointed to find that I wasn't, but now's not the time for it anyways. Gotta find out whats wrong with me first, fix that, then down the road I can try again. Not that I tried this time, just thought I was......


Been thinking of starting a blog with just book reviews. But then I can hardly keep up with this one....maybe I will work on it during the winter, when I'm holed up in my apartment avoiding going anywhere where its cold, lol...yeah, maybe thats what I will do...I have so many books...I love to read. I get caught up in a book and I don't hear anything thats going on around me.....

well, im off for now. gotta go to the store.....

love ya all,


Sunday, September 9, 2007

Pics from the Military Honor Park Festival

These are just a few of the pics I took. The Honor Park is on the South Bend Regional Airports property. There is a museum, actual missels (demilitarized my grandpa assured me) and tanks, along with papers and buttons like you see below. Its a pretty cool place, full of a lot of history, and people that are more than willing to talk to you about any questions you might have. If you are interested, I have plenty more pics that I can put up for you.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Been awhile

Hey there everyone. It's been awhile huh? It's been almost a month since I posted. Where has all the time gone?? I miss you guys a lot! I've been pretty busy actually. Working, working, working. Trying to save up some money for my wedding. Yes, I type WEDDING! Joe proposed to me awhile back. We set our date for October 17, 2009. We set it kinda far back mostly for money issues. We want to save up enough to do it proper, and to save enough for a decent honeymoon. I also want to lose some weight. I have my dress picked out, the location for the ceremony picked out, the location for the reception, pretty much everything. My godson David is going to be my ring bearer, my cousin Nina, the flower girl, my step dad is going to give me away, and my mom, sis-in-law (and sis in my heart!! Love you Banni) and cousin Brandy are gonna be my matron of honor and my brides maids.

I have a dilema though, maybe you guys can help me out a bit.

I haven't told my grandparents that yet. I don't know if they told him I'm engaged yet either. They don't talk often, but he usually calls around this time to wish both of them a happy b-day cos both their birthdays are in September. I didn't know how to politely tell them not to tell their son that their only granddaughter is getting married. He will ruin my day if he shows up with his mulletted drunk self. He seems to think he is entitled to have any say in my life. It's like he is in denial of the fact that I have seen him three times in the 22 years he's been gone, and that I have talked to him exactly three times since his last visit over three years ago! (hmm, I'm sensing a pattern here) Anyhoo, how do you guys think I should approach the issue?

Well, bye for now, but I plan to post again soon. I went to the Military Honor park last month for a festival. They have a museum and they had tanks and other cool stuff out and I took a few pics I want to post. I need to get them out of my camera though, so thats for later.

Love ya and miss ya all!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

For Fine Artist

Lori, I just found out about your daddy and my heart goes out to you. You are a remarkable human being and one of the most unselfish people I have the pleasure of knowing. I am terribly sorry for your loss and I am here for you if you need me.

Everyone, who knows Lori, please extend your sympathies. She is going through a hard time right now.

I love you hun.

Monday, July 23, 2007

On Vacation

Hey everyone, I seem to be taking a break from the blog world. I will be back though. Right now I am on vacation from work and getting ready to go out of town for a few days. I have been busy, and have a lot of stuff to tell you, and I have some cool pics to put up for you all to enjoy. I miss you all and look forward to catching up with all of you, though I have a feeling were all pulling away while the weather has been so beautiful.

Well I off, I go packing to do, and directions to print out, so blog at you all later!!

Friday, June 29, 2007

Had a bad day today. Sorry my first post in ages, starts with that, but I did. First, I had to get up early, after working till 230 am, because I had an appointment, and dumb ass me didn't think to make it for later in the afternoon.

Then, I went with my sister in law, brother, and mom to the vet to put their lab Lucky to sleep. It was so hard to say good bye to him, even though I knew he was in pain. He was my "Lucker Dog" my buddy. He was my favorite. I love all their animals, but Lucker Dog was my buddy. He used to knock their other dogs out of the way so I would pay attention to just him. He would make his little chuffing noises to show his contentment and if I stopped petting him, he would hit me with his head to keep going. I will miss him so much!!! I haven't cried that hard in a good long time.

I remember everyone used to be so scared of him, cos he played at being mean, but in reality he was nothing but a GIGANTIC lap dog.

I went not only to say good-bye, but also to show support to my sister and brother. She was there for me when I had to put my Ninja Kitty to sleep, she drove me in the middle of the night to the emergency vet when my dads cat (more mine than his though) went into renal failure, and she was there for me when my Dachshund Daisy got hit by a car. As much as my heart was breaking, I knew her pain was ten fold, and I had to be there for her, just as shes always been there for me.

Rest In Peace Lucky
I will never forget you

Sorry, I don't have a pic of him handy, but I'm sure Brandi will post one on her blog sometime soon.

Monday, June 18, 2007

extremely miscellaneous rants and rambles, look out.

Ya know what I hate? Well, a lot of things actually, but two of the biggest things I hate are liars and thieves. They usually go hand in hand too. I had the camera. A real nice camera. It was a RCA 35 mm. It had 10x zoom. It wasn't the fanciest one, but it was nice. I used it for action shots because I don't have a very high megapixel in my digital. I got it on clearance, but I still paid a decent amount for it. Anyhoo, I loaned it to Mozzy, when we were still friends. She had a lot of my other stuff too, and gave me a bag back while I was in the process of packing up to move. I was so busy, I didn't look when she said the camera was in the bag. Only when I was unpacking the bag a few weeks later did I see it wasn't in there. I called her up, asking where my camera was, and she said it was in the bag. Now, this was while we were still friends. The camera was NOT IN THE BAG! Turns out, she had it all along, and told my sister in law that I gave her the camera. NO I DID NOT! When I asked her about it she said her mom had it and would bring it back when she came back in town. That was almost a year ago and I have yet to get my camera back. I FREAKING HATE THIEVES! And making it even worse was the fact that she stole it from me while we were friends. Not to mention she owes me money for a couple hundred dollars of computer software I sold her for $50. What a freaking deadbeat.


For some happy news. Yesterday was a good day. I went and seen David and Alijah, my god sons. They are both doing well. Michelle is learning sign languge, from a book for now, but she is going to be looking into classes for us all to take. We need to start teaching Alijah sign now, while it will be easier for him to learn. He fell asleep in my arms while I was there, it was so precious! Aunt Wanda took a picture of it, so as soon as I get a copy, I will put it up. I did startle him a bit when I cleared my throat. The vibrations made him jump cos his head was right on my chest. He likes to lay there, I think maybe because he can feel our heartbeat. Joe was holding him as well, and that was a beautiful sight.

We went to Eric and Brandi's after seeing David and Alijah. They had a cookout with the juciest, yummiest steaks ever. They also had steamed corn and baked potatoes and the yummy bread with homemade honey butter spread. I ate like 8 pieces of bread, but I worked it off in their pool. My brother and I wrestle and horse around in the pool, cos I have less of a chance accidently getting hurt in the water. I had a blast. It's been awhile since I spent good quality time with them. I mean, we see and talk to each other, but yesterday seemed so right and fun and I was so happy and content. I really missed them when all the bad stuff was going on last summer and fall. I'm glad thats past us now.

I started selling Avon, to supplement our income a bit. Joe has a chance to get a part time job at my cousin Ryans job. It may lead to full time, and they pay a lot better than Masters. With his part time job and my avon then I think we will do pretty damn good financially.

Well, I need to get going so I wont be lat fore work. Have a good week everyone, and hopefully I will have time to leave messages on everyones blog. It seems like its so hard to get blogging lately, but I miss all of you so much!

Friday, June 1, 2007

Spring Cleaning, A Bit Late

I decided the other day to take most of this weekend to completely clean and purge my apartment. Who knew that a year would build up so much junk. Don't get me wrong, my place isn't filthy, its just cluttered and messy. I straighten up all the time, but I don't actually clean, and by clean I mean, clean out all the closets, cupboards and junk like that. It amazes me all the junk we've accumulated! Some of the things I've come across, I don't know where they came from. I found Christmas Decorations on top of the fridge, how'd that get there?? Anyhoo, I'm taking a much needed break from that to blog and drink a cup of Ice Tea.

I got my first package for my Soldier all ready to to. Joe and I are gonna go the post office tomorrow to mail it out. I hope he likes what I got him. I only got a few things for his first package because I'm waiting to hear back from him on what he likes or needs. The website ( said I might not. If thats that case, then I will just continue to send random things to him and hope that he likes or needs them. They also said that if our Soldier doesn't need or like something, there are plenty of others that may need it too, so I'm not too worried about it.

I'm planning on signing another years lease here. Joe and I looked around for something cheaper, but no go. Unless I want to live in Crack Head Haven, otherwise known as Pin Oak Manor, then Castle Point is the cheapest place around for the square footage we get here. I do love the place, I just wanted something a bit bigger and that allows dogs, so I can get me a doggie. We have over 700 sqft here, and most of the other apartments have less than that. We did look at a place called Mckinley Woods, that is REAL nice. It was actually a town home, with a fenced in back yard, 1.5 baths, two bedrooms, shed in the back yard, and lots of closets, plus a stacked washer and dryer. I LOVED it, and so did Joe, but it was not in our budget. We've been kind of bummed out lately, because they allow dogs and cats, and there is no extra monthly pet cost like most places. So we decided to stay here another year. We do have the option of getting a different apartment here. They have a one bedroom with a den that we are thinking about. When we go back to discuss our lease, we are going to ask to see one, see if it is worth moving to another apartment and for the extra cost.

Well, enough of my break time, I want to meet my cleaning goal for today, so I can justify going swimming later. Tomorrow its cupboard and closet cleaning day. Have a great weekend everyone!!!

Monday, May 14, 2007

Happy Belated Mothers Day to all the mothers out there..........I meant to do this yesterday and I forgot. GRRRRR, damn brain just doesnt want to remember all the shit I jam in there lately.

I was inspired by the link I followed on Angies blog and I filled out an app to adopt a soldier. Why have I never heard of this before?? Was I just not paying attention?? Was I being selfish and self absorbed?? I get that way sometimes. I dont mean to, then all of the sudden I realize its me, me, me always me. Then i come back down to earth again. Hopefully I will stay this way for awhile.

will be going on the day shift in July. I cant wait. I hate working nights. It seems like I miss more. Yeah, i get to sleep in more on nights, but I feel like life is passing me by while im snoring away. I have to jam all my errands into the weekends, then go back to work tired.

Joe got a job offer to work construction on the side. Hopefully it works out. The guy is supposed to call him. I hope he does. we could really use the money. If he makes enough, we can pay our car off faster and maybe get a house.

Found out that if I want to lease monthly here after my year lease is up, I have to pay an extra fifty bucks a month, or i get the option to renew another years lease and continue paying my current rent. grrrrr....i wanted to just go monthly in case a nice house comes my way. now i cant do that. pisses me off a bit. oh well.

bye everyone. gotta go get ready for work now.

Friday, May 4, 2007

whew, i just got home from a 13 hour shift, and i still dont know when ill get to bed. im getting ready to chow down some grub and joe and i are hanging out with our friend dustin. hes fast becoming our best friend. today were gonna go play bingo with him and his mom, and then him and joe are gonna hit the bars. i was gonna go, but decided not to cos they need a guys night out night, and saturday morning im gonna hit some yard sales with my friend crystal. its the first time this season, im so excited.

sunday i might actually get to veg out cos joes going on the Road Rally with my dad. the house to myself, YAY!!!

later this month joe and dustin are going with my dad and some other friends to the mudbog. My lil bro, dad and our friends son are all bogging. My dad actually won best in show few years back, and my lil bro was in like third place last year. Dustins never been to a bog, so hes all excited.

weve just been busy busy busy lately. works been crazy, but i try not to complain cos of the paychecks ive been getting.

got some bad news though. Alijah was just diagnosed as 100 percent deaf in both of his ears. I gotta get with his mom and find out how to learn sign language. anyone know sign, and is it really hard to learn?? i took a three week class in middle school, but didnt retain any of it.

well, just wanted to update you, time to eat and prolly crash soon. love ya all!!!

Friday, April 20, 2007

Monday, April 16, 2007


did you know that you can rent dvd's from a vending machine?? weird huh??

Thursday, April 12, 2007

sorry its been so long since i posted, and sorry i havent commented very much on everyones. I ve just been very very busy with work. Ive worked 13-15 hour days all week cos we switched computer systems and there has been nothing but problems. but the week is over. a friend of mine is making me and joe a spaghetti dinner and tomorrow im celebrating my 28th bday with my friends and family and im doing great. i just wanted to let everyone know i was alive, if not extremely tired and a bit stressed out. love you all!!!

Thursday, March 29, 2007


Warning to any ladies in the South Bend/Mishawaka area!!

I got a call from my cousin yesterday. She was very upset. She had gotten a job at a place in Mishawaka called "Francesco's Fine Dining" She worked there for about a week and a half and he called her up Tuesday to "speak to the accountant about your paperwork". Only when Brandy got there, there was no account and it was only the owner. He started off pretty innocent, admiring her tattoo that he had never seen because of her work uniform. THEN he said "your tattoos are sexy, do you have any of them near your privates?" and started to reach down there. She jumped back and called him a freak and asked where the accountant was. He then went and sat behind his his desk and started to rub himself off. He gasped "oh, your so sexy. why dont you come over here and rub those big titties on my chest!" By this point she had had enough. She turned to walk away, and he started to go after her, she sped up and he yelled "wait, are you going to come in to work tonight??" she just shook here head and drove away as fast as she could.

The police won't do anything since he never was able to actually touch her. One police officer said something along the lines that he was just hitting on her. Her turning him down doesn't mean anything. They said they would put a notation int he computer that she had made a complaint against him, but since shes not a minor and there are no witnesses there is nothing they could do. What kind of bullshit is that??? One of the officers made a remark that they eat there frequently and have never had any complaints before. Maybe the other girls were too scared to quit their jobs over it?? I was furious and felt helpless, angry that I couldnt do anything to help her. Then she asked me to put the word out. Advise people to boycot the place, anything. So I am.

Im tempted to go in there this weekend and make a scene. Talk real loud about attempted rapist working there and then leave. OR order a big meal and then walk out, saying I lost my appetite cos i saw an attempted rapist. Anything to make this guy miserable and make him lose money.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Last night while Joe and I were out and about some jerk hit our car!!! We're not hurt, and the car only got minor damage, but still!! And then the jerk tried to say it was our fault. Hello?? We were in the left land and he decided to come into our lane and didn't check to see if anyone was in our lane! And them BAM! he hit us. He tore up the bumper right above the wheel. I called the cops and he came and did an information exchange thingy, but he didnt file a report. I'm pissed. How are we gonna prove to the insurance company that it wasn't our fault if there is no actual report?? I tried to get ahold of the company today but no go...We have a five hundred dollar deductable if we have to use our insurance to fix our car. GRRRRRRRRR

In happier news, its going great in the office. He asked me to start coming in earlier and told me I was doing well. I have to work in there by myself on Wednesday. I think it's a test. Hopefully I pass it cos if I am put up there permanetly I get a dollar more an hour. I could really use that money.

I'm going to see my papaw's grave with my cousin today. She hasn't been there since she was a kid, and I haven't been there since before my grandma died. I never met my papaw. He died while my mom was preggers with me, but I feel a connection with him. My mom, and aunts and uncle and grams talked about him so much, and with such love I feel like I knew him. My great uncle put up a new headstone two years ago, and I would love to see it. When he died, he had no insurance, and the state was just gonna bury him in a pine box. My mom had a little money saved up and she got him a nice coffin, but only had money for a cement headstone, and it had worn away so badly you coudnt read the dates, so I am really anxious to see the new headstone he put up. When I was younger, that was one of the things I wanted to do if "I got rich". I wanted to buy a big fancy headstone for him. Is it bad and petty that I was a tiny bit upset that he did that?? I also thought that he should have at least consulted my mom and aunts and uncle about it before hand. He was their father after all..but I think sometimes I can be too negative and mean and petty about some things. At least he has a decent grave marker now right?? Brandy and I are gonna plant some wild flower seeds on his plot. I don't know if they will take this early in the year, but its still too cold to put actual flowers in. My papaw died of cirrous of the liver. He was an alcoholic. That also makes him more real to me. He had his faults, and a major one too. My mom worries about me sometimes. She's scared that I will turn into an alcholic cos its genetic...but I don't drink that often, and when I do, its only one or two drinks. I have zero interest in actually getting drunk. I like a little buzz now and then, but not stupid falling down drunk.

Well, my cus is on her way, so I'm gonna go get ready.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Friday, March 9, 2007

It's a beautiful day in South Bend. The sun is still shining at 5 pm, its warm, and I have the windows and patio door thrown open to let in the fresh air. The cats are happy to sit in front of the patio door and smell all the smells again.

Can you tell I'm in a better mood than I have been lately?? I think I had a serious case of cabin fever.

Things have been much better at work lately. I'm in the office all day now. I'm still on a trial basis right now, but my boss told me that I'm doing well enough to have another weeks training. I really enjoy working in an office. Everyone says I seem much happier now and they are right.
I am.

I'm sorry I couldn't make the chat room with you guys the other day. I just got Ange's invite last night. I work nights, sometimes till early the next morning. I wish I could have been able to join you guys, would have been a blast.

Have a great day guys, and I hope all of you are enjoying the beautiful weather like I am!

Saturday, March 3, 2007

Thank You to everyone that made me feel better about missing my grandma so much. You all helped a lot.

This post was gonna be about why I got a new one, but I decided that I didnt want to dwell too much on negativity. Lets just say that an old friend of mine (some of you know her as Mozzy) is a toxic, lying bitch and she was reading my blog, and since we worked together at the time (shes no longer there, thank the gods) I didnt feel like I could be honest about a lot of things going on in my life, so thats why I got a new one. I wanted to make a full, clean break from her, especially now that shes not working with me. She doesn't know my number and she doesnt know where I live, and I plan on keeping it that way.

Now on to other things:
My moms elbow is broken after all, and it isnt healing like it should be. It also keeps popping out of alignment. She has to have an MRI done now, and might have to have surgery. Hopefully it wont come to that.

I got a chance to try out for a position in the computer room of my job. The computer room is the 'heart' of the business. All the orders and billing and everything else comes through there. Apparently its a very high pressure job. I'm only learning one part of it, and if they think I can handle it, they will let me continue there. I think I can handle it. I feel at home in an office, and I want to do something other than working in that grungy warehouse. I don't feel like I am living up to my potential there.

That all thats really going on with me. Ive just been working and sleeping mostly. This weather is really getting me down. I just want it to be warm, so I can open my door and window and let some fresh air into my home. Im going stir crazy, being cooped up. Its too cold outside and too wet and too windy and blah blah blah. Sorry, its making me a little grumpy.

Im gonna go clean my house now.

p.s. Another hug to Rain. I am so sorry for your loss and please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Dear Grandma

Dear Grandma,

I can't believe that in a few days it will only be 4 years since you left us. I miss you SO much. It hurts so bad sometimes, especially these last few months. Mom says it was the holidays that has made it so hard lately, but I don't remember last Christmas hurting to bad, and I still miss you so much, even with the holidays over. I miss sitting at your feet while you brush my hair and tell me what ever was hurting me at the time would be all right. I miss watching spider or snake movies with you, and laughing at the way you screamed when one of them jumped at the characters. And Figure Skating isn't as fun to watch anymore, thats for sure. I miss sitting on the porch with you, watching it rain. I miss so much of you. I even miss your temper, and the way you used to yell at me when I did something wrong. I know you weren't perfect, far from it actually. I know that you were very hard to get along with at times. I try and remember the bad times so it won't hurt as bad, but it just doesn't work, because I would gladly take the bad with the good to have you back again. I know your last few years were hard on you. I know you just wanted to die, to give up. Mom told me that you said you wanted it all to end, that you were tired of being sick all the time. I know its purely selfish of me to want you back here, where you could't breath without oxygen, and couldn't even give yourself a bath anymore, but damnit, I want you back! I wish you could have met Joe, see me so happy and independent now. I think you two would get along. Hell, Joe gets alone with almost everybody. Even Grandma McClanahan doesn't have anything bad to say about him, and you know how she is. I can't believe I am sitting her at 130 in the morning, writing a letter to you, crying in the dark, but I've just got this overwhelming need to be in your arms lately. I miss you more lately, than I did when you first left us. I just don't understand it. Everytime something happens lately, good or bad, I think " I wish I could tell grandmma about this." But I can't. And it hurts my heart so badly. I know I will see you again one day, either in heaven if it does exist, or in another life, but one day I will be with you again, I just wish it was now.

Give Daisy Dog and Ninja Kitty and everything and everyone else a hug and kiss for me and tell them I miss them.

Love, Mindy

Everyone, I know this post was depressing as hell, but it was something I needed to do, something I needed to get off my chest. On Feb. 21st, four years ago my grandma Perkins died. She helped raise me and my brother, and while there were some very hard times, and she was very difficult to get along with, I loved her with all my heart and lately I have been missing her alot, as you can tell from the letter I wrote her.

Brandi, please don't tell mom about this post. She is going through enough right now without having her worrying about me, okay??
I'll be fine, I just needed to get this off my chest.

Friday, February 9, 2007

My mom fell down at work today, dislocated her left elbow. She's ok now, but I spent the day worrying about her. They told me to stay home because they didn't need a crowd of people hovering around. I wasn't happy, but I obliged them seeing as how this was about my mom, not me. She had a hell of a day though. She went first to Med Pointe, but since she got hurt at work, they wouldn't see her. They made her go to Occupational Health, who told her that she had two fractures and a dislocated elbow so they sent her to on Orthopedic Surgeon, who said that she DIDN'T have any fractures, so THEY sent her to the emergency room at Memorial Hospital, where she spent the next several hours with incompetent doctors who don't seem to know how to put a dislocated elbow back in place. They almost sent her home thinking it was back in place, but it wasn't so they had to call the doctor back in. Fast forward another 2.5 hours and she's finally at home, knocked out with pain killers. I'm gonna go see her tomorrow, make sure she is ok. I think she should sue, but that's just me. My mom is my best friend and I did NOT do well sitting at home while I knew she was in agony, and there was nothing I could do about it. I was so angry that she kept getting shuffled back and forth when she was in so much pain. How could they just send her away like that?? And why the hell did they think she had fractures?? They dont know how to use an x-ray machine?? *fuming*


I have this cousin. Her name is Michelle. We used to be close. I've talked about Michelle before. Her two boys, David and Elijah are my god sons. Elijah was born in December and I have yet to see him. When he was born I was sick, and continued to be sick well past Christmas. Before I go further, I should give you some back story. Michelle is a user. It took me a LONG time to come to terms with that fact. Oh, I knew she was a user, but I was just naive enough to think she wouldn't use ME. There used to be a time when I would do ANYTHING for Michelle, mostly cos of David, but I did love her a lot. We grew up together. Before my brother married my sister in law, Michelle and her sister Mary were the closest things I had to sisters. While Michelle was pregnant with Elijah she called me constantly for rides and other things. At first I was happy to help out. I mean, she was pregnant with no car and she was family after all. But with gas prices as high as they are we couldn't do it anymore unless she gave us a bit of gas money now and then. As soon as I asked for some, she stopped calling. I heard from her once before Elijah was born, calling cos she was stranded at the hospital. She was in labor but not enough for them to keep her there, so she was discharged and she had no way to get home, so we went and got her. I couldn't just leave her there. I didn't hear from her for about three days, when she called me to tell me Elijah was born. After that, I tried to get ahold of her several times to make sure she was okay and to see if I could see Elijah now that I wasn't sick. I couldn't get ahold of her. I left voice mail messages several times, and called my aunt Wanda, her mom, to make sure she was okay and to tell her I was trying to get ahold of Michelle. Still didn't hear from her. I finally got pissed and stopped trying. Then last week Michelle starts calling me cos her belated baby shower is on Sunday (and I'm just now hearing about it) and she wanted to see if I could help out with the games and stuff. Now remember, I havent heard from her since before Christmas, and now shes calling wanting my help. I didn't call her back for three days, letting her call me several times asking if I was mad at her. I finally called her back today and she answeres the phone: "finally, you called me back!!" and my reply was: "geez, and I've been trying to call you since December!" She claims that no one has the code for their voice mail and that she didn't know I had called. I know she has caller ID though. I'm not dumb. Then my sister in law called and we were talking about my mom, so I told her I would call her back, but of course she didn't answer.

I just dont understand how she thinks she can get away with using me like that. Out of all my cousins, and I have a lot, the only one that calls me just to chat is my cousin Brandy Marie. She just wants to talk to me, to chat about anything and everything. If it wasnt for David, who owns my heart, I wouldnt have anything to do with her. I'm not going to the baby shower. I will get Elijah a pack of pampers and an outfit and leave it with her mom, but I just cant take being used anymore. Maybe if she starts calling me just to talk, and not when she thinks she can get something from me, I will renew my relationship with her, but not until then.

My next post will be about the reason why I have a new blog. Its a lot like Holly's reason actually. Until then, Love ya all!!!

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Wow, its been awhile since I posted. Sorry about that, I've just been really busy. My moms party went pretty good. We actually managed to surprise her, which is almost impossible. I freaked out a bit on Saturday cos I was talking to her and she said she was hung over from the night before and she wasnt gonna leave the house. Luckily my dad made her leave. He said he had plans and to just shut up and get in the damn truck, LMAO!!! I took my camera, but I was so busy setting up, and cleaning up and just plain old having fun that I didnt take any pics....and thats not like me at all! I'm the picture lady damnit! The bitch that I didnt want to come was there, but she pretty much stayed out of the way, playing darts, so it was okay. All in all I think my mom had a great 50th birthday party.


Joe and I got matching tattoos!!!!! The pics are below. He got a dragon wrapped around a globe, and I got a tribal butterfly, and yes, its on my left boobie, but up very far. Let me tell you, it was a very long 45 minutes sitting in that chair with no shirt one while some guy, who is not Joe, was touching my boobie, LOL.....but thats okay, he was very professional and did an awesome job. I also got my eyebrow repierced cos it closed when I took it out for my surgery, which was weird cos I've had it out for longer periods before with no trouble....and boy did it hurt like a mother! There was scar tissue from the last piercing and he had to put the needle through it all. I cried. I'm not gonna lie about it. I cried, and I cussed and then it was over.....The first time I barely felt it. Just felt like someone pinched me. This time it felt like someone was pushing a needle through my flesh. Go figure. Well, heres the pics. Love ya all and all of you have a great day.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Okay everyone. My old blog is retired. Im not gonna delete it, as Im fond of it, but its time for something new......someone I didnt want to has been reading it, and I just didnt feel I could post what I wanted to on it. I accidently posted that last one (the one with the cute sign) on my old blog, and it was meant to be on here....i dont know how that happened, but oh well....does anyone know how to put a site meter on the new blogger?? The directions didnt make sense...


My moms party is on the third of February...I'm a little miffed cos my Aunt Nita invited someone that neither me, my mom, my dad or my bro and sis in law like.....I want to tell her shes not invited but its complicated. See, her sister used to date my cousin, and she somehow became a part of the family cos my aunt and grandma love her, even though shes a total bitch. I love her sister, and was sad when her and my cousin broke up. They had been together for a long "the bitch" as I call her, is cleaning my cousins house, doing his laundry, cooking for him, driving his truck and she has a joint account with him. She is going behind her sisters back and telling everyone her business. It pisses me off and just shows me what kind of a person she is. But shes still loved by my aunt and grandma. The party for my mom is at the VFW where my aunt and grandma are major members who hold offices. How the hell am I gonna tell my aunt the bitch isnt invited without causing trouble?? Any advice?? (told you it was kinda complicated, LOL)

Sunday, January 21, 2007


hypocrisy n. , pl. -sies . The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness

I want to talk about hypocrits today. Now, I don't claim to be perfect, and on more than one occassion I caught myself being a hypocrit. BUT I admit it. I admit my faults. If I feel I am wrong about something, I admit it. I have even apologized to people when I felt like I've wronged them. It wasn't easy, but I did it, and I will do it again I am sure.

No, what bugs me is not people who make mistakes, or act like hypocrits, its the ones that wont even admit it, or own up to it. Like people who backstab someone, and then act like their friend; THEN they have the nerve to get upset when someone does it back to them. Sounds to me like they are getting a taste of their own medicine. Karma baby. Now, I admit to gossiping about people, bitching about them...especially when I dont like them, BUT I wouldnt deny it AND I wont act like their friend. If I dont like someone, I wont be their friend. I wont hang out with them, and giggle with them or any of that bull crap. It really irks me when I see others doing it, and I get outraged when its done to me. I have a very simple request to people out there, and I think everyone should live by it. "If you dont like someone, dont pretend to be their friend." Its not that hard is it??

I have a lot of trouble trusting people, and I have several good reasons why, reasons I wont get into right now. So when I do lay down my trust in someone and they screw me over, it hurts, and it hurts bad. Im a fair person though, and sometimes I do give second chances, but not often. Ive given a second chance to only a few people, and one person in particular hasnt let me down. She knows who she is, and she knows I love her with all my heart and I am grateful for having her in my life. She is one of the few people out there that know how to admit when they are wrong, or have hurt someone, and can apologize for it. It takes a lot of guts to do that, and I admire anyone who can.

Where was I going with this post?? Not too far, just getting a few things off my chest. Just ranting and rambling I guess......


This weekend went by way to far. I spent it cleaning and relaxing. I cant relax until I clean, so they usually go hand in hand, unfortunately. BUT my house is clean and comfortable and I can relax guilt free. I was gonna go see Forever Gypsy, but Joe and I decided that we really couldnt afford to spend the money on it. It sucks being a responsible adult sometimes. *sigh* maybe next month.

I applied to several jobs this weekend. Hoping one of them will pan out.

Love you guys!

Friday, January 19, 2007

Grrrr...I'm getting really irritated at blogger right now!!! I logged into my new blog and made a post, and it posted it to my OLD blog!!!!! And of course, blogger appears to be down right now, so when it gets back up, i will move it over to here, cos I dont feel like re writing all of it.

I will repeat this though, I 've not been offended by anybody...i dont know why the comments were not showing up even after I had them published. I think they are up now though. Once again blogger screwing up!

Sunday, January 7, 2007

I've been talking to my cousin Brandy lately. We go through phases where we talk a lot, then we dont. Almost my entire family is like that. I dont know why. Anyways, we talked about a LOT of stuff. She opened my eyes about someone in my family. Someone I was previously close to, someone I am soooo disappointed in. But I dont want to violate the privacy of my family. She also has a way of making me feel good about myself. I think she is a strong, beautiful woman, and when she tells me that she thinks im beautiful, I believe her. She says she sees not just the outer physical beauty of someone, but also the inner. She says that I'm real, and good and caring and just beautiful in more ways than one. She made me cry a bit. Now, my mom and sister tell me Im beautiful all the time, but its different with them. I feel they HAVE to say it, but Brandy doesnt. She doesnt have to say that at all. She has a wonderful husband and a beautiful little boy. My cousin Julian, Im sure you remember my posts about him. He was born with the valves in his heart going in the wrong direction, or something like that. Basically it wasnt circulating his oxygen properly. He had to have two surgeries. One emergency "patch" job that temporarily corrected it until he was bigger, and then the permanent surgery. He came through both with flying colors, AND he wont have permanent scarring. He wont remember a thing! We recently celebrated his first birthday. Heres a pic of him with his daddy, Jessie. Arent they both so handsome??

There was really, absolutely NO point to this post, but my convo with her was on my mind so I decided to write it down...LOL

Saturday, January 6, 2007

As most of you know, I am a HUGE animal lover. I would do anything for an animal. I've gotten into arguments, and have actually hit someone for harming an animal in my presence. I even screamed at a child for hurting a baby bird. I had the kid in tears. Brat deserved it too....

Anyhoo. I am a member of the Best Friends Animal Rescue in Kanab, Utah. Its run by a great guy named Michael Mountain. I get their magazine that comes out every three months or so and I always has the latest updates in the animal world, good and bad.

The last edition featured "The Great Bunny Rescue". A lady (i cant remember where) started out with just a couple of bunnies that she had in her back yard. Unfortunately she didnt think to get them spayed and neutered. And we all know what happens with bunnies right?? Uncontrollable breeding!

There were over a thousand bunnies in this ladies back yard. And a lot of them were sick and dying, and they were still breeding. It took weeks and tons of volunteers to rescue all these bunnies. Some didnt make it, but a lot of them did. They neutered the males, and spayed the females that werent preggers. They were given medical treatment if needed, and a lot of them were placed in homes. But there are still a couple hundred that need homes. They were placed in the Great Lakes Rabbit Sanctuary.

The point to this post?? Well Great Lakes Rabbit Sanctuary is kinda small and they just took close to two hundred bunnies and they need help. Even if its a bale of alfalfa hay, or five bucks it would be useful. And Best Friends is also in need of donations. Or, if you dont have money, but have time both facilities could use volunteers if you live in the area. The rabbit sanctuary is in Whittaker, MI, and Best Friends is in Kanab, Utah.

Best Friends is one of the largest no kill animal shelter in the United States. You should all check out their website. They do awesome work there. One of these days Im gonna take a vacation in Utah and volunteer there for a few days.

What I would love to do is hold a fund raiser, but I'm not quite sure how to go about doing that. Has anyone ever held an online fundraiser before?? If so, let me know okay??Oh, before I forget, here are the web address of the facilities: and
Hey everyone. This is my new blog. I needed to start fresh. I havent deleted my old blog. Dont know if I will. I might just move over my favorite posts from that one to this one. To be honest, there was someone reading my old blog and I didnt want them to. I felt like I couldnt post honestly because that person would use it against me. Whats the point of having a blog that I couldnt be honest in, that I couldnt write what I wanted to in?? Its one of the reasons I dont post as often I would like. Cos I had to censor myself. So welcome to my new blog!!